His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
