we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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