my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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