So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
