Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
