4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
