How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
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He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
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Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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