New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
can u get pink eye on your cock?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
