Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Can you bring me the toilet please
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize