She's JV to your varsity
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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