yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
