mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
