doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
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Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
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you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
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