There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
