You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
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Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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