Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize