Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
