I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Randomize
