How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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