wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
