You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.