Texts From Last Night

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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I don't get it.

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Me neither.

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  But I masturbated to it anyway.

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  (870): I don't get it. (501): Me neither. (501): But I masturbated to it anyway. http://tfl.nu/tklr
  Replies (23) Good night (2310) Bad night (854)
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  (415): View more from California

  i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian

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  (415): i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian http://tfl.nu/vq1a
  Replies (8) Good night (2046) Bad night (993)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people

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  (818): to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people http://tfl.nu/ib6w
  Replies (23) Good night (3914) Bad night (874)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  there is no way he can be that small

  (1-419): View more from Ohio

  look on the bright side he'll over comepensate

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  (419): there is no way he can be that small (1-419): look on the bright side he'll over comepensate http://tfl.nu/8mfj
  Replies (18) Good night (752) Bad night (2702)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough

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  (514): btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough http://tfl.nu/7sph
  Replies (1) Good night (2510) Bad night (995)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.

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  (614): I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing. http://tfl.nu/nz2e
  Replies (11) Good night (1230) Bad night (1608)
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.

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  (204): when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape. http://tfl.nu/srkz
  Replies (2) Good night (2200) Bad night (647)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.

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  (702): Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love. http://tfl.nu/o3bo
  Replies (10) Good night (1114) Bad night (708)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.

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  (310): I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated. http://tfl.nu/zxsm
  Replies (6) Good night (1933) Bad night (577)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.

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  (503): Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it. http://tfl.nu/rbw2
  Replies (4) Good night (1433) Bad night (483)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  You need Xanax blowdarts

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  (513): You need Xanax blowdarts http://tfl.nu/5mba
  Replies (3) Good night (724) Bad night (421)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.

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  (734): This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving. http://tfl.nu/sgt2
  Replies (4) Good night (418) Bad night (537)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.

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  (609): Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum. http://tfl.nu/2wyb
  Replies (1) Good night (682) Bad night (326)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?

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  (610): How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach? http://tfl.nu/gw61
  Replies (4) Good night (357) Bad night (724)
• Favorite

  (953): View more from

  Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.

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  (953): Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man. http://tfl.nu/f9iu
  Replies (0) Good night (815) Bad night (223)

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