You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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