I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!