New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Randomize
