Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Hippo gnu deer
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.