yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
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