okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
