Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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