shes about as inviting as chlamydia
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
