paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
