OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
