Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
