he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
