hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Dignity is for republicans.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I just got carded by a ten year old.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
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