I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
she told me i tasted like america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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