she looked like the bat from fern gully.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
