Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
