I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize