is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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