We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
