who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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