dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
My ATM looks so different sober.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
