Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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