maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
