if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
