Well douche your snatch and let's go!
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
The power of my boobs compel you
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
