Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Randomize
