Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
