The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
