that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
