U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
