I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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