trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
