I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me