I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
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I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
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No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.