wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
