Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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