it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
