Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
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