What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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