i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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