Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
