this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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