Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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