Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
