She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Go christen that room with your naked body.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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