all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
