Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
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