Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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