i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize