She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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