very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
