Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize
