i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
